Evoke Your Authenticity
What is your authentic self?
According to The Center for Growth, being your authentic self means you are in alignment. Your thoughts, words and actions are aligned with who you are at your core.
To say this another way, being authentic is about looking deep down inside of yourself and identifying the qualities, thoughts, values, etc. that make you, YOU. What do you truly believe? What do you truly feel? What do you truly think?
For many of us, it is difficult to tune into our internal self - our intuition. Which is not surprising given the fast-paced, information-loaded world many of us live in. We are bombarded by thoughts, actions and words from numerous perspectives every single day through our community, social media and news outlets. These thoughts, actions and words mingle with our own thoughts, actions and words leaving us with a jumble inside our heads. We then must sort through each of these things and pinpoint which ones are ours and which ones are coming from the outside world. It's exhausting, time-consuming and honestly really hard to do.
Don't fret - if you crave a connection to your internal world, there is hope. We absolutely can evoke our authentic self. Before we dive into how to do this, let's discuss the benefits of and ramifications of not tuning into our authenticity and why it is SO HARD for us to be our true selves.
The benefits
When we are living our authentic lives, we have a powerful awareness of who we are and our values and convictions. We are able to consistently express our honest thoughts and ideas which leads to a host of benefits.
We live in the present. Because we know what it is that we want and are able to voice this, we can live in the current moment. We don't worry about what is coming next or where we have been and instead can simply enjoy today. We make decisions from a place that feels good and know that we are shining exactly how we are meant to. This alignment creates a sense of clarity and peace for us and our lives reflect it.
We follow our passions. You want to dance, so you dance. You feel a sense of exhilaration when you think about volunteering, so you do it. You save for the things that bring you joy. You cherish your time with your family because there is nothing else in the world you would rather be doing in this moment.
By tuning into our intuition and inner world, we begin to recognize the things that bring us contentment. These will be small things and big things. Things that light a fire in our hearts and bellies. Things that drive us forward and make us shine. We no longer question if trying a new hobby is the "right" thing to do. We simply say yes because we know it is. We trust ourselves.
We build a community that loves and values us exactly how we are. You are who you are and there is beauty there. There are others who will get you and, even more importantly, love you for being this way. You don't have to change yourself to please the masses. Instead, by stepping into your authenticity, you silently call out to the people who will cherish your unique qualities and are build a community that is supportive of you.
We are vulnerable. We acknowledge to ourselves that deep down this is who we are at our core and these are the thoughts and ideas we have as a result of being that person. As a result of this conviction, we know that others may or may not accept who we are, but we aren't looking for their opinion - it won't sway us. So, we speak our truth. We share the thought. We expand on the idea. We try the things that scare and excite us. It is through this that we show ourself and the world that it is okay to be you. It's okay to be vulnerable. We share ourselves with the world.
We build thriving relationships rooted in honestly and acceptance. To echo the note on vulnerability, when you understand who it is that you are, you are able to communicate that effectively to others. It is through this ability to voice your thoughts, desires, needs and goals that you can be open and honest with friends and partner. In the simplest terms, you voice your thoughts and, because you place value on being authentic, you are open to the thoughts of others. Therefore, you deepen your connection and communication with those you surround yourself with and don't hide parts of you. You allow yourself to be seen.
You also accept your friends and/or partner for who they are. You cherish what makes them unique and you encourage them to step into their own authenticity. Meaning, you also allow them to be seen.
The downsides
A lack of awareness of who we truly are leads us to live a life that lacks fulfillment and real connection. It is one centered outside of the present moment where we ruminate on the past or the future instead of being here with ourselves today. Beyond this, it creates other downsides:
We commit self-betrayal. We go directly against what our true, authentic self desires and the goals it has. We don't speak up for ourselves or build a community of acceptance. All of this causes anger, resentment and even burnout.
We talk negatively to ourselves. As a result of the misalignment with authentic self, we tend to put ourselves down and compare ourselves to others. There are lots of "shoulds" in our day - I should have worked out, I should have said that differently, I should be like this book. Our inner monologue is constantly trapped in a state of negativity and frustration.
We seek external validation. Instead of relying on our own feelings and thoughts about the things we do and accomplish, when we live a life separate from our authentic self, we look to others for their approval. We don't feel excited or content unless someone else tells us that what we did was "good". This constant need for external validation leaves us feeling unfulfilled because there is always someone who doesn't agree with us or defines success and goodness differently. There is always someone who we can't please. Therefore, we never appreciate our success and achievements.
We hide parts of ourselves. Due to our desire for external validation and self-betrayal, we hide the parts of us that we feel others may not like or agree with.
We let others walk all over us. Without an attunement to our authentic self, we cannot set effective boundaries for ourselves. Therefore, we allow others to set them for us and this can result in us being taken advantage of. Or, we do have a boundary, but we are afraid to communicate it or stand up for it. Which leaves us feeling burnt out and uneasy.
What holds us back?
One of the primary reasons we stumble to live as our authentic self is rooted in false beliefs. These beliefs prevent us from stepping into our whole self because they cause us to experience fear, anxiety, rejection or some other negative experience.
Some of the false beliefs that crop up for individuals include -
The belief that our true, authentic self isn't worthy
The belief that we will be rejected
The belief that there is a right way to be or that we should be a certain way
The belief that fulfillment comes from others and their validation
The belief that we need to control everything in our lives
How do we awaken our authentic self?
The first step to awaken your authentic self is to simply learn about it. Open up your journal and answer the following prompts as honestly and completely as possible -
If time/money/etc. were not an issue or requirement, what would you be doing every day? What would you seek to accomplish?
What parts of your life cause you stress? What can you do to change those experiences?
Next, consider how you show up in each of these situations. Compare this to how you want to show up. Then ask yourself, what is causing the disconnect?
Sharing your thoughts and opinions
Making decisions based on your values
Pursuing your passions
Allowing yourself to be vulnerable
Setting boundaries and honoring them
Finally, join my private or group coaching program to learn additional techniques and strategies to unlock your authentic, remarkable self!